MY LIFE SUCKS - Part 1

"MY LIFE SUCKS!" 

 

A STORY OF FICTION BY CATMAN   

 

PART 1 OF 2

 

 

 

 

"Oh god!  I hate my fucking life!  I hate my job!  I hate my decision to spend the past four years as a corporate accountant for that company!  I hate crunching numbers every day! I hate this date when the fiscal year ends and I have to submit earnings reports for the share-holders!  I hate that I am getting older and today is my birthday!  Please God, don't let anyone remember!"

 

"I probably would quit that place, if it wasn't for the 'benefits':   A 401K, full health and dental insurance coverage, stock options, and a really decent salary.  The only positive thing is that I kind of like my colleagues.  (Except for Myrna, our receptionist, who is an absolute bitch!)"

 

 

 

"Jesus, I can't believe my dick is getting hard in the shower!  I know it hasn't had much attention lately!  Shit, I can't even remember the last time I had sex with another guy!  It doesn't matter because there isn't any time today to jack-off before work.  I can't afford to be late today."

 

"Little buddy, I'm soaping you up just to make sure you are clean.  Rinse, rinse, rinse.  Now to dry you off.  If you go to sleep, I promise to pay some attention to you tonight."

 

"I hate putting on a suit each day!  It's like some kind of a 'corporate straight-jacket'!  Better check my e-mails before I hit the road.  Okay, Mom and my sister with birthday greetings.  Doesn't anyone ever send a card anymore?  Wait a minute, there's another one!  That's not an internet user-name that I recognize."

 

 

 

"Why would someone send me a picture like that?  Sure, it's really fucking hot, but...just the picture?  No name attached or personal message?   I can't worry about it now, I have to get to work!  Can't be late today!  Damn! I keep repeating myself!"

 

"Shit!  the traffic is at a standstill!  Just my luck!  I remember reading some quote once:  "Life without aggravations would be very boring!".   I would absolutely love to be bored, especially today!"

 

"Okay, so I am late!   It wasn't my fault!  Myrna didn't need to give me that nasty smirk as I came through the door!  It's bitches like her that make me glad I am gay!"

 

"What's this?  A birthday card on my desk?..."

 

 

 

"WHAT THE FUCK???  This definitely wasn't appropriate for the workplace!  No one here even knows that I am gay!  I'm not ashamed of it, but it's really none of their fucking business!"

 

"Myrna is a big old busybody!   I'll ask her who has been in my office this morning."

 

"Are you sure?  Just my intern?  Colton?"