"A
CHRISTMAS TALE OF DISCOVERY: THE
BEGINNING!"
A
CHRISTMAS STORY OF FICTION BY CATMAN
PART
1 of 4
I
grew up in the big city where Christmas was always magical! Everything in New York is larger than life,
especially during the holiday season.
As a small child I was enthralled with the lights, the sounds, the store
window displays, ice skating at Rockefeller Center, the big Macy's parade. I couldn't wait each year for December and
would begin composing my letter to Santa in early July.
The
year I turned 12, my entire idyllic life suddenly changed. Dealing with going through puberty was
difficult enough. I will never forget
the date: Tuesday, December 23rd, 1999
at 2:17 AM. I was sexually molested by
my Uncle Dave, a guest in our house. I
remember it like it was yesterday. He
preformed oral sex on me and forced me to do the same to him. I felt ashamed, humiliated and used by
him. That night, I lost my
"innocence"! I was totally
confused and It totally took the joy out of that Christmas.
I
kept the secret from my parents. My
"Grandpa Jack" recognized that there was something wrong with
me. He was the only one I could ever
confide in, because he always took the time to listen to the things I had to
say. I couldn't bring myself to give him
details, I just said: "Uncle Dave
did something to me. Actually, I kind of
liked it!" He went to my parents
and they dismissed it all. "Clay
has always had an over-active imagination.
He probably just dreamed it up."
Grandpa
Jack wasn't so convinced. He took me
under his wing and was over-protective of me for the next few years. The two of us really bonded and I felt closer
to him than to my parents. And then...
I
was the one who found him. Grandpa Jack
had a massive stroke and died on Christmas Eve near the tree I had helped him
decorate. I was totally devastated and
the holidays would never be the same for me again. For years, I avoided the Christmas season
because of the bad memories.
It
took a whole year of intense therapy to come to the realization that Uncle Dave
hadn't turned me gay. I was gay, just
because, I was gay! He had just been a
really bad first experience. Free of
all of the demons, I couldn't count the number of people I invited to share my
bed.
However,
all of the therapy in the world couldn't renew my old love of Christmas. For years, I ran away from the city to
hibernate, by myself, for much of the month of December.
Christmas
2012 was approaching. The malls and
department stores had already begun installing their Christmas decorations
before Halloween! ( Each year, it seems
like they start earlier.)
I
had made some preliminary plans for my secluded escape this year. I had heard about an old Victorian Gay Bed
and Breakfast in up-state Connecticut
that offered some private cabins on their property. I reserved a cabin and sent a deposit. Thanksgiving weekend, I received an odd text
message on my phone: "FROM
NICK...I'VE MISSED YOU!"
I
couldn't recall knowing anyone by the name of "Nick" and dismissed it
as someone who texted to the wrong number.
I forgot about it, until a week later and listened to a voice message on
my phone...
"Hey
Clay, It's Nick! Are we still on for
December 20th to Jan 4th? I'll be
waiting for you in Connecticut. The
cabin is great and you'll love it. It's
really secluded. I'm really looking
forward to seeing you again!"
What
the.....??? I didn't have a clue who
this guy was! Somehow he knew my name
and all of my plans. After I listened to
that message several times, I still couldn't identify that voice. Yet, it sounded strangely familiar.
I
felt like I was loosing my mind! I
always spend Christmas alone! Why would
I make plans with someone else? I'm a
really private person and don't share with other people. I racked my brains to try to remember if I
knew a "Nick". Was he an old
work-out buddy at the gym? Maybe someone
I knew from the bars, or one of my tricks?
Absolutely nothing came to mind.
I
finally decided that I would solve the mystery of "Nick” by driving to the
cabin in Connecticut on December 20th.
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