KRIS, HOBO AND ME! A NEW YEAR, OR THE END?

KRIS, HOBO AND ME!  A NEW YEAR, OR THE END?

A CONTINUING STORY BY CATMAN

I was convinced that after our very intimate Christmas Day together,  Kris was 'on board' to remain here as a part of my life.  At the very least, I hoped so!   That was not the reality.    The following day, he said, "I don't know what I am going to do. To stay here, or go?      I'm really confused.   You don't make it any easier for me!"  

I quickly changed the subject.  I think I was totally in denial.  Maybe, if we never talked about his leaving, it wouldn't happen.  Hopefully,  Hobo and Kris would stay with me forever!   I changed my strategy and got Kris to open up to me about his tragic family life.  I questioned him about his two years living on the streets.  Maybe, if he remembered his life before me, he would want to stay.

The stories he told me, totally infuriated me.  His parents were strict Pentecostal Christians, but there was nothing very Christian about the way they had treated their son.    They were strict with their discipline for the least little infraction.   Growing up gay, Kris had to hide his sexuality.  At eighteen, he made the mistake of telling them.   They reacted by throwing him out of the house in the middle of his final year of high school.  Kris dropped out of school.  With no means of support, he had to do whatever he could to survive.  When the generosity of his classmates and friends dried up, he had no choice but to turn to hustling on the street.  Kris wouldn't divulge everything, but I knew it had been a nightmare scenario.  He had been abused by a lot of ruthless men.   Sex on the streets, in parked cars and dark alleys.  Forced to do unspeakable things with strangers, just to get enough cash to eat his next meal or the rent in some cheap motel.

Hearing those awful stories, I just wanted to hold him closer.  Maybe I could erase all of those painful memories from his very young life.  Then I remembered something I had read years ago.  It was Maya Angelou's book, "I Know Why The Caged Birds Sings."   What I had taken away from the book was:  'you can hold a bird in your hand, but he will only stay as long as he wants to.  If you close your hand around him, he will want to escape and fly away.'

I decided that if Kris would stay or go had to be his decision.  Each night we made love and fell asleep in each other's arms.  I didn't pressure him to make his decision, but I told him each day that I loved him.    The week between Christmas and New Years was filled with numerous house parties to attend.    I would dress Kris up and he was always my date.  Despite his young age, he would always captivate our hosts and their guests with his charming personality.  He was never an embarrassment to me and I was proud to have him next to me.

In the meantime, Hobo found a new friend.  Another cat that wandered into my yard and decided to just stay.  I was sure that it was an impossibility, but they almost looked like they were related.  Hey, what was wrong with having one more 'stray' in my house?  The two of them really hit it off and kept each other company.    That was a very good thing, since my mind was occupied with other thing.

Finally, New Years Eve arrived.  My friend, Rick, was once again throwing his annual holiday extravaganza.  It was just days till my Christmas decorations would have to come down and Kris would come to his decision.  I was running out of excuses to keep him with me.  I didn't have a clue about what he would decide.  We went off to Rick's party and at the stroke of Midnight, Kris kissed me.  His tongue was buried in my mouth for an eternity.   He finally pulled away and whispered in my ear,  "Not tonight.  Let's talk tomorrow."

(will the story continue?)